Going back to before
Urgh to the Grrr to the Ack.
I'm tired of stress being the background beat to my life. I'm sick of worrying. Of having to work so hard to drop out of that highly vibratory space of worry and anxiety and rush a thousand times a day in order to find the calm to keep plodding forward. Everyone around me is in the exact same state of **zzzwwweeeeeeggggzzzzz** and attempting the high wire on too little sleep and too much caffeine.
I went to bed at ten after eight last night, and I tell you when I heard Chris rumble down the drive at 5:30, I felt as if I could have slept for another five hours. But I got up so I could do a tiny bit of writing and have a cuppa.
I think I need to quit my beloved caffeine. I really don't know how to do it, but I'm sure it's turning the volume up to 11. OK. Just...after I finish this cup.
Ten years ago I was in energy healing school and I meditated every day and did Qi Gong and yoga and now I just eat, sleep, work, pray and yeah...worry. And it feels as if time is going by so much faster than it ever did before. I mean, honestly...wasn't I just on a plane five minutes ago on my way back from MA? And here it is Friday morning again? I don't know. I think I must be missing something.
Comments
[this is the truth] Well, at least you realize you're not alone. Which is some consolation. But if you can, drop the worry. I'm beginning to realize worry is more toxic than caffiene. It sounds trite, but worry never solves a thing. And it's proven time and again that the "Doom" I'm worried about rarely materializes. Or when it does, I usually come up just fine.
How's the ankle?
Ankle is surprisingly awesome. My foot keeps swelling up all over, but the pain is almost gone and I'm hardly even limping anymore. I'm going to try a walk this weekend. Thanks for asking!
I've been advised to allow myself a set period to worry, bitch and moan, etc. Say 30 minutes a day. And then set it aside. I've often found that sometimes by just saying "go away" when the worry thoughts ascend, they actually do.
And then there's this: And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his(E) span of life?
Whether you're a believer or not, it's good advice.
Not that I always follow my own advice mind you. :)