On being here now
Aarrgh. Bad blogger.
Coming off of the holidays I've been in slow, thick liquid mode. Molasses. But I'm finally on the road to good health due to some big dietary changes and stretching/yoga. This weekend I think I have enough stamina to add in some real exercise. I have to say, it feels so excellent to be detoxing. The early part of the week was rough from wanting to stuff my face with a big plate of pasta or slabs of toast with butter, and it's taking a while for the stomach to shrink down enough from my single portion meals (no seconds except for salad). I was feeling constantly hungry. But that shifted midday yesterday.
I've also put the nightly cocktail or glass of wine in the back seat for a bit. As soon as I walk in the door in the evening I make a cup of hot herbal tea (a digestive aid blend of mint and fennel) and set about making dinner. I haven't missed it and I've slept so much more deeply, ending the evening with a short session of deep stretching and a few key yoga poses for relaxation and balance. For the first time in over a year I felt good in my pants yesterday. Comfortable. I had a date with my friend Cheril to do our annual Xmas stocking exchange dinner and didn't even feel the need to change into something else after I got home.
I did have some bread and wine at dinner last night and while it was scrumptious (the bread was grilled with pesto and served with this pot of hunks of chévre sitting in a pool of pommadoro sauce that had been put under the broiler for a few minutes and topped with slivers of basil. Oh, yum. But I did feel kind of poisoned by the time I got home. Two glasses of red wine and the bread, well, woulda-coulda-shoulda, right? Had a big cobb salad with tons of goodies--roasted chicken, house smoked salmon, half an avacado...
So getting healthy is a lot of stopping throughout the day and asking myself, "how's that going to feel afterwards?" and it no longer feels like a punishment or a denial. It just feels like awareness and self-care.
The winds of change are swirling all around me.
Health
Fitness
Work
Home
It truly is a new year for once. Usually it just feels like January is more of the same old shit. But I'm changing inside instead of just looking outward hoping to see something different. And I'm not going to beat myself up by saying "took me long enough." I am where I am.
The Cowboy Junkies are going to (or have, I'm too lazy to look up the details of what I heard on World Café yesterday) go back into the church to revisit The Trinity Sessions.
Here's the original Sweet Jane. Martha has the sexiest voice.
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